Marriage Is Like a Puzzle

Audio By Carbonatix

When my wife and I are traveling on a plane, she will often work on crossword puzzles. When she gets stumped, she will give me the clue to see if I can figure it out. Then, we will work on it together. The last time we were working on a puzzle, it occurred to me that marriage is kind of like a crossword puzzle.

Let’s just say the husband works on all of the “down” clues and the wife figures out the “across” ones. Sometimes, she is able to guess her word because her husband’s “down” clue intersects with her “across” word, and she happens to receive the one letter she needs. In that way, couples work on it together to get it filled in. That’s called teamwork, and it’s essential in a marriage relationship. Perhaps he makes dinner while she is picking the kids up from activities. Or she is cleaning inside while he is sprucing up the yard outside. She is paying the bills and he is figuring out the taxes. Like a crossword puzzle, each spouse is doing their part so that the marriage will be more complete.

Some crossword snobs, as I would call them, will not ever seek help from the many crossword dictionaries and reference books that are available. They would rather suffer for days than give in, and (in their mind) cheat by looking something up. Don’t do that in your marriage. That’s pride, which will divide a couple. When couples simply can’t figure things out on their own, getting help is very appropriate. This is especially important because time is often of the essence. The longer a couple lets a situation go unaddressed, the more likely things are to get out of hand and worsen. Each person will have too much time, and they will start to overanalyze the situation and reach wrong conclusions. It’s not cheating in the crossword puzzle of your marriage to get help. You would be cheating your marriage if you don’t.

What can you improve in your marriage today? I believe that working on your marriage can keep your relationship skills sharp. Your marriage can be at risk of declining if you don’t actively keep working on it and trying to win more often at home.