Who's the Ringleader of This Circus?
By Lisa Lakey
I tend to think I’m a one-woman show. Which is ironic, since my life often feels like a circus.
Without thinking, I’ll micromanage everything around me: work, kids, house, schedules, dog … even my husband.
Although I may act like an independent ring leader, most days I feel like a magician. Everything is just an illusion. And at some point, everyone will see me for what I am: a fake.
I mean, which of us thinks, “I’ve actually got this whole thing under control”?!
I know a lot of women who feel this way. We’re juggling so many balls we don’t know when or how to stop. Yep, we’re typically the ones putting this pressure on ourselves.
But guys, it’s exhausting.
I know It can be hard to know how to really help your wife if she has an I got this attitude. It can be hard for us to delegate our responsibilities. But one way your wife will always need your help is in the prayer department.
James 5:16 tell us, “The prayer of a righteous person has great power.” Your wife needs you praying for her daily.
Pray for her roles as a wife and mother. For her work. For her peace of mind, stemming from a peace of heart that doesn’t have to prove anything—because her worth is in Jesus.
And please, pray that she would think of herself with “sober judgment,” humbly acknowledging her limitations and need for others: “The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’ ... that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another” (1 Corinthians 12:21,25).
As you have opportunity, speak and show her the truth that it’s okay for her to let go of control.
I promise you: Praying for your wife (and the three-ring circus she leads) is one of the best ways to love her well.
The Good Stuff: Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work.” (John 4:34)
Action Points: When your wife is tempted to overcommit or micromanage (i.e., overcontrol), gently ask her questions to help her unearth her motivations. Is she serving out of God’s acceptance of her … or serving in order to gain acceptance and worth (self-salvation)?
Wives, prayerfully get honest about the why’s behind your commitments and decisions.
Visit the FamilyLife® Website