He Didn’t Want Another Baby
By Leigh Harper
I always dreamed of having at least two kids. Our first baby began sleeping through the night after a mere seven weeks (hallelujah!) and smiled constantly.
So you can imagine my shock when my husband, John, who adored her just as much as I did, decided he didn’t want additional children.
I asked God to change John’s mind. But I grew confused and bitter as time passed. How could God give me this longing but not my husband?!
Subconsciously, I blamed John for keeping me from my dream. I felt like we were on different teams. And mine was losing.
As I processed with my counselor, friends, and mentors, I grieved the dream slipping from my white-knuckled grasp.
Then a friend challenged me gently by asking, “What if God wants to change your mind, not John’s?”
Harrumph. An idea I hadn’t thought of and didn’t like. But as I chewed on this, I realized how selfish I’d been for clinging to my own desires. I was holding my idea of our family so tightly it blinded me to the possibility my dream might not be God’s dream for me.
I decided to change my prayer.
Instead of asking God to change John, I prayed for unity. I asked God to give us the same desires and vision for our family.
Months later, our church held a foster care information session. John suggested we attend. I was stunned but cautiously optimistic.
Fast forward: We now have a 12-year-old daughter we adopted through foster care. Our biological daughter is 5. Our family looks nothing like I thought it would, and I’m so thankful. His plan has been so much better for all four of us.
The good stuff: For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Action points: Is there an unresolved issue in your marriage you still don’t see eye-to-eye on? Ask God for unity in your marriage, and that both of your desires would align with God’s plan.
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