6 Positive Messages That Shape Your Daughter’s Self-Image
Parenting
Audio By Carbonatix
By Carrie Lowrance, Crosswalk.com
Our world can be a tough place for young women. Ads and social media posts constantly bombard them, encouraging perfection while shaming imperfection. Add in the in-person issues of clicks, gossip, and things can get very complicated.
Our girls and young women are faced with so much negativity; it’s no wonder they struggle with issues like anxiety, depression, and suicide. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Setting a positive example starts at home. Here are some ways to do so.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/Halfpoint Images
1. The Power of Affirmations: Building a Strong Foundation
What are affirmations? Affirmations are a great way to start things off on the right track. What is an affirmation? An affirmation is a positive declaration intended to encourage or reinforce a mindset or belief. This concept comes from cognitive psychology, which states that our thoughts can significantly influence our feelings and behaviors. When we consciously choose to focus on the positive, we can reprogram our subconscious mind, altering its perceptions and responses to various aspects of life.
Crafting Effective Affirmations
In order to craft effective affirmations, focus on these things.
Be positive
Use the present tense
Keep it specific
Make it personal
Repeat Regularly
Examples of Christian Affirmations
Here are some examples of Christian affirmations.
-I am fearfully and wonderfully made
-God’s plans for me are good
-I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me
-I am forgiven and redeemed
-God’s peace guards my heart and mind
-God fights for me
2. Encouraging Her Unique Interests and Passions
Understanding your daughter’s unique interests and passions is important. It also plays a significant role in her development, self-esteem, and overall happiness. Fostering an environment where your daughter can explore her passions and interests also encourages her personal growth.
Recognizing and validating these interests and passions will also help your daughter build confidence and self-awareness. When you take the time to learn what excites your daughter, you pave the way for a relationship built on understanding and support. This benefits your daughter, including:
Boosting Self-Esteem
Promoting Independence
Strengthening Your Bond
Improving Emotional Well-Being
Figuring Out What Interests Her
How do you figure out what your daughter is interested in?
-Engage in conversation and ask open-ended questions.
-Observe play and activities. What is she into? Sports? Reading? Cooking?
-Encourage exploration and introduce her to new activities and experiences.
-Note her reactions. What TV show, hobby, or school project does she talk about?
Encouragement Techniques
-Create a supportive environment: Establish a space where exploration is welcome.
-Be an active participant, engaging in the activity with her.
-Help set goals by helping her set achievable goals related to her passions.
-Provide materials, invest in materials, classes, workshops, books, etc., to help her learn and grow in her passion.
-Celebrate achievements: Celebrate it all, the big and the small.
-Encourage social connections: Help her find groups of other kids who have the same interests and passions.
Let her know you appreciate her interests and talents. Ask her if you can join in whatever she’s doing, and if she can teach you what she’s doing if it’s something you’ve never tried before.
Buying her the resources she needs to pursue her interests is critical. I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was nine years old and my mom bought me pens, paper, notebooks, ink for my printer, and books and magazines about craft. All of that helped me become the writer I am today and has made all the difference.
3. Highlighting Her Strengths: Celebrating Achievements Big and Small
Celebrating your daughter’s strengths is also important. When she does a good job at something, tell her. Achievements come in all shapes and sizes, from passing a test to graduating from college or landing a dream job. It’s important to celebrate it all, the big wins and the small. Some small wins to celebrate include:
-Passing a test
-Applying for a job
-Winning a contest
-Making the basketball, track, cheerleading, etc. teams
Some big wins include:
-Getting a job
-Passing the driver’s test
-Getting a raise
-Winning a prestigious award
-Getting a promotion
Congratulate her on how hard she worked to achieve these things and how proud you are of her.
4. Emphasizing Effort Over Perfection: The Importance of a Growth Mindset
Our society emphasizes perfection at every turn, from body size to makeup to hairstyles. It’s hard for young women not to buy into this ridiculous hype, and often they feel less than the perfection they see on social media, television, and in movies.
Instead, let’s focus on praising the efforts our young girls make to look great and achieve things. We can do this by acknowledging the efforts they make in school and in life. Tell your daughter things like:
- You worked so hard on that project.
- I admire your determination.
- You took your first step in going after your dream—I’m proud of you.
5. Promoting Positive Body Language: Loving and Accepting Her Appearance
One of the hardest things that females have to deal with is body image. Our society can be cruel to those who don’t fit the ‘mold’ the media has set, regardless of whether it’s being underweight or overweight, having good or bad bone structure, being too short or too tall, etc. This is where moms come in: as role models, teaching their girls through verbal and nonverbal cues about body image. Here is how you can promote positive body language and foster acceptance of appearances.
Posture: Stand tall with your shoulders back and head held high.
Facial Expressions: Be genuine when you smile and maintain eye contact with others and your daughter, especially when discussing body image.
Gestures: Use open gestures, no crossing your arms or fidgeting.
Promote Positive Self-Talk
Encourage your daughter to adopt healthy self-talk.
Encouragement: Compliment her strengths, talents, and unique features regularly. Emphasize what makes her special beyond her physical appearance.
Affirmations: Teach her to use positive affirmations like, ��I am beautiful just the way I am,” or “I love my body for what it does.”
Challenge negativity: If your child says something negative about herself, counteract that with something positive. If she says, ‘My legs are too short,” then you guide her in recognizing the good things about her legs. For example, “My legs help me run and play!”

Engage in Healthy Conversations
Having open conversations about body image can ease societal pressures.
Discuss Media Influence: Explain how many media images are altered or unrealistic. Urge critical thinking about how advertisements and films portray beauty.
Sharing Personal Experiences: Share your own stories and experiences about your journey to self-acceptance. Talk about the struggles and insecurities you had and how you overcame them. Emphasize that everyone has struggles.
Navigating Peer Pressure: Teach her how to navigate comments and pressure from her peers. Encourage her to surround herself with supportive friends who promote self-love.
Encourage the Impact of Physical Activity and Self-Care
Promote the connection between a healthy body and a healthy mind.
Active Engagement: Take part in activities together that include movement like dancing, hiking, yoga, or sports. This helps reinforce that bodies are for doing, not just looking.
Mindful Self-Care Routines: Teach her about the importance of self-care, both physically and mentally. Encouraging self-care helps reinforce the body and mind, including healthy eating and stress-relief techniques that lead to being healthy and feeling good within her body.
Create a Supportive Environment
Foster an environment where body positivity thrives.
Limit Negative Conversations: Pay attention to what people discuss around the dinner table or even in casual conversation. Avoid discussing diets, weight loss, or judging others' appearances.
Celebrate Diversity: Expose your daughter to a diverse range of representations of beauty. Including media, literature, and social circles that celebrate different body shapes, colors, and sizes.
Supportive Relationships: Encourage her to surround herself with friends who uplift and inspire her conversations. Positive peer relationships can influence a girl's self-image.
Photo credit: ©GettyImages/NoSystem images
6. Inspiring Empathy: The Value of Kindness and Compassion in Self-Image
Understanding Self-Image
Self-image is the mental picture individuals form of themselves.
The Role of Kindness in Self-Image
Kindness is more than a simple characteristic. People can cultivate this trait. Engaging in acts of kindness improves mental well-being and establishes a sense of belonging. Practicing kindness with your daughter can create memories and reinforce positive self-perceptions.
Kindness as a Reflection of Self-Worth
Through kindness, you can show your daughter that you value yourself and others. Even simple acts, like volunteering together, supporting a friend in need, or expressing gratitude, can teach your daughter that kindness boosts self-esteem. When you openly practice kindness, you instill a sense of self-worth and encourage your daughter to do the same.
Compassion: Nurturing Emotional Intelligence
Being compassionate means being able to empathize with others’ feelings and experiences. This is an essential component of emotional intelligence, which greatly influences self-image.
Modeling Compassionate Behavior
When you model compassion, you teach your daughter to be aware of her own emotions and those of others. This understanding helps grow healthy relationships beyond the immediate family.
Ways to Encourage Empathy, Kindness, and Compassion
-Have open conversations
-Practice gratitude together
-Volunteer as a team
-Practice self-care
-Use affirmative language
Living in today’s society can be a hurtful and confusing place, but by teaching your child about positive self-image, you can prepare her to navigate the world more confidently and with greater self-assurance than ever.