When Your Spouse Is Depressed (Part II)
By Jenn Grandlienard
Yesterday, I wrote about the darkness eclipsing me so often—and what that means for my husband.
Depression is an illness. If your spouse had cancer, you’d see them with different eyes. And in our vows, we commit to love our spouses through sickness and health.
Everyone’s depression looks different. We can usually work together to overcome. Neither of us wants this to consume us, choking life from everyone around us.
What can you do?
- Pray for your spouse. Their perfect comfort is Jesus. Ask Him for His eyes of love, compassion, and patience. Ask for supernatural strength for your extra load.
- Lovingly encourage your spouse toward the help they need. If this is affecting your daily life, your spouse might need a counselor.
- Get help. If your spouse isn’t ready for counseling, go personally to figure out how to love and help your spouse without losing yourself.
- Involve your community. Depression is an inward disease. It’s easy to put on a happy face for people who don’t know. Don’t broadcast your spouse’s issues. But personally, I’ve got two trustworthy, praying friends we’ve agreed he should reach out to on my low days.
- Medication might be a needed option. My medication helps me to not remain in that intense, all-consuming pit for long. I was embarrassed and did not want to begin antidepressants. But I couldn’t figure this out on my own.
My brain needed help creating serotonin. Medication allowed me capacity to work out what lay behind my depression. It’s helped so much I’m an open book talking about it!
Some spouses aren’t ready for help. They think they can handle it. They don’t realize how their illness hurts you.
You may not see light at the end of this darkness. Jesus does. Trust His arms to carry both of you through.
Someday, your spouse will be thankful you didn’t give up on them when they felt like giving up on themselves.
- What do you fear or feel most discouraged by when your spouse is having a depressive episode?
- Spend time today asking God for His eyes to see your spouse and for wisdom to respond in ways truly loving and best.
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